January 2012
5 posts
Jan 27th
4 notes
beer and donuts for dinner cause tomorrow’s my birthday and 31-year-olds don’t do that sort of thing.  please tell me I’m wrong.
Jan 26th
2 notes
Jan 25th
5 notes
“I’m a nice person; don’t fuck with me.”
– God, I love The Bachelor.
Jan 24th
2 notes
Jan 13th
1 note
December 2011
4 posts
Dec 23rd
Dec 12th
4 notes
Dec 8th
19 notes
You’ll finally realize you’re old when you pluck out a white eyebrow hair.
Dec 5th
2 notes
November 2011
6 posts
Nov 29th
4 notes
Nov 27th
7 notes
Nov 22nd
899 notes
Nov 21st
4 notes
Nov 14th
3 notes
Nov 9th
October 2011
4 posts
edbury: Homeless dude with a “winter is coming” sign, here is a fiver. The disadvantaged are getting creative!  I saw a guy with a sign today that said, “Too Ugly for Prostitution”.  
Oct 28th
Oct 20th
Oct 20th
Oct 4th
853 notes
September 2011
5 posts
1 tag
I just spent the afternoon at jiffy lube and total wine & more with a baby completely covered in what I’ve confidently identified as chigger bites.
Sep 28th
Sep 16th
White bread
My sandwich bread absorbed my air freshener.  Clean Cotton tastes disgusting with cheese and pickles.
Sep 13th
Sep 8th
1 note
what happened to me
I just purchased a groupon for JCPenney portraits.
Sep 6th
August 2011
7 posts
Aug 26th
2 notes
Aug 18th
SLED DOG PUPPY CAM
Aug 17th
amigurumi makes me angry
seriously
Aug 17th
A compliment about how much preggo weight I’ve lost almost derailed my trip to the snack machine to get a Snickers.  Almost.
Aug 10th
Aug 5th
147 notes
1 tag
Pretty sure I got double the amount of fruit stuff in my Chobani this morning. !!!
Aug 5th
July 2011
4 posts
Jul 21st
Jul 15th
888 notes
Jul 14th
320 notes
Just got caught up on the Harry Potter movies.  I’ve done True Blood and Game of Thrones as well.  5 weeks of maternity leave left to bond with the baby.  What’s next? omgiamaterriblemother.
Jul 6th
June 2011
4 posts
Jun 27th
Jun 20th
1 tag
In full disclosure of my life
… today I cleaned shit off the wall and puke out of my cleavage.  And I still haven’t showered.
Jun 13th
For the past two days I have been watching my...
Also, the scariest thing about taking care of a baby is being unable to reach the remote when Kathy Lee and Hoda come on the tv.
Jun 6th
May 2011
5 posts
Patience
I spontaneously bought a Kindle yesterday!!!  Why hasn’t it arrived yet?!?! Patience Patience Patience
May 11th
If we don’t have the baby by Saturday, my Mother’s Day present is a free luxurious hotel room down the street from our house, a bucket of fried chicken and Pay-Per-View to watch the Pacquiao Mosley fight. This is why we will make great parents.  Priorities. Don’t tell my midwife.
May 5th
1 tag
May 5th
503 notes
May 2nd
May 2nd
April 2011
1 post
1 tag
Apr 12th
4 notes
March 2011
1 post
Missed opportunities
Probably not going to get the coveted Pregnant Lady of the Year award with my snack of Ketchup Pringles and ice cold Coca-cola this afternoon.  So sad.  Probably is a good indicator of my chances at Mom of the Year in the future.
Mar 15th
February 2011
5 posts
Feb 28th
Breakfast
Maynor, the 23 year old guy who cooks burgers and sandwiches to order in my building’s cafeteria just told me that he needed to get something out of his heart and that he needed to “make a declaration before God that my daughter would do great things for her generation”.  I am crying in my egg and cheese muffin.  
Feb 21st
Texting with my hubs
Me: Happy Valentine's Day, Lover! xoxo
Josh: who is this
Feb 14th
Dogtooth
If you want to see a really effed up movie, watch Dogtooth.  It’s Greek and nominated for an Oscar for Best Foreign Language Film.  I mean, it’s good, but really disturbing and … weird.  It’s on Netflix instant viewing.  Trailer.  I’m not sure why we watched the whole thing, but we definitely talked about turning it off.  I keep thinking about it though.  It’s...
Feb 7th