April 2012
2 posts
Little Sticky Legs →
Learning about all different kinds of people today.
My kid ate kitty litter this morning
Your argument is invalid.
March 2012
2 posts
Mad Men Masks →
Thank you Thank you Thank you
February 2012
2 posts
January 2012
6 posts
beer and donuts for dinner cause tomorrow’s my birthday and 31-year-olds don’t do that sort of thing. please tell me I’m wrong.
I’m a nice person; don’t fuck with me.
– God, I love The Bachelor.
December 2011
4 posts
You’ll finally realize you’re old when you pluck out a white eyebrow hair.
November 2011
6 posts
October 2011
4 posts
edbury:
Homeless dude with a “winter is coming” sign, here is a fiver.
The disadvantaged are getting creative! I saw a guy with a sign today that said, “Too Ugly for Prostitution”.
September 2011
5 posts
1 tag
I just spent the afternoon at jiffy lube and total wine & more with a baby completely covered in what I’ve confidently identified as chigger bites.
White bread
My sandwich bread absorbed my air freshener. Clean Cotton tastes disgusting with cheese and pickles.
what happened to me
I just purchased a groupon for JCPenney portraits.
August 2011
7 posts
SLED DOG PUPPY CAM
amigurumi makes me angry
seriously
A compliment about how much preggo weight I’ve lost almost derailed my trip to the snack machine to get a Snickers.
Almost.
1 tag
Pretty sure I got double the amount of fruit stuff in my Chobani this morning.
!!!
July 2011
4 posts
Just got caught up on the Harry Potter movies. I’ve done True Blood and Game of Thrones as well. 5 weeks of maternity leave left to bond with the baby. What’s next?
omgiamaterriblemother.
June 2011
4 posts
1 tag
In full disclosure of my life
… today I cleaned shit off the wall and puke out of my cleavage. And I still haven’t showered.
For the past two days I have been watching my...
Also, the scariest thing about taking care of a baby is being unable to reach the remote when Kathy Lee and Hoda come on the tv.
May 2011
5 posts
Patience
I spontaneously bought a Kindle yesterday!!! Why hasn’t it arrived yet?!?!
Patience
Patience
Patience
If we don’t have the baby by Saturday, my Mother’s Day present is a free luxurious hotel room down the street from our house, a bucket of fried chicken and Pay-Per-View to watch the Pacquiao Mosley fight.
This is why we will make great parents. Priorities.
Don’t tell my midwife.
1 tag